There is a large amount of attraction hype that flies around the Internet. Some of it is good, some of it is bad, some of it is amazing, and some of it is seriously misguided.
One of the attraction concepts that fall way short of the mark in terms of REAL psychology is the concept of the ‘Alpha Male’. The term comes up so frequently in pickup lingo, that it’s easy to assume that everybody knows what this means, and it’s even easier to presume that the concept of Alpha Male is a simple and uncontested fact.
The first thing I want to say is that ‘Alpha Male’ has completely different contexts from one animal species to another.
The Second thing I want to state is the simple fact that NOBODY on the planet knows for sure what a human alpha male really is. However, we currently have some pretty good reasons to believe we know what it IS NOT.
When most of us think about the Alpha Male, we think typically about the Silverback Gorilla Alpha Male. He is the biggest, and the strongest, and not necessarily the smartest. He puts himself first at every meal and bosses everyone else around. He appears to be relatively selfish, only protecting his harem of women from attack so that he can get sex whenever he wants.
He also has the sole breeding rights, with a will to kill any Male Gorilla who violates these rights. In their human form, this alpha male would be the typical meathead from high school who was tall, well built, treated smaller guys like crap, and usually smelled like a gorilla.
There is one more important fact about the pickup community concept of ‘Alpha Male’ that is seriously misleading. The idea that the human ‘Alpha Male’ is the one who gets all the women, while the other men are left sexually frustrated as in Gorilla tribes.
This fact has been all but disproven since every tribe can only have one Alpha Male, and the human gene pool is too varied to accomodate the theory of single male breeders in ancient human tribes.
There are no respected scientists left on the planet who believe this is what a Human Alpha Male is. This is pure made up fantasy produced within the pick up community to sell a style of pickup that involves emulating that meathead from high school.
To try to behave as a belligerent self-centred alpha man, with no emotions and no care for those around him is to not only stunt your success with women, but to seriously stunt your development as a Human male.
It’s true that an alpha male must have a willingness and ability to lead others and take control, but a true alpha male does this while feeling fear, desire, insecurity, lust, embarrassment and a whole host of other emotions worn clearly and unashamedly on his sleeve.
Think about the men in your social group that you look up to without resentment. Think about the men you have met who you think are ‘great men’ for some reason without even knowing why. Think about the men that your female friends have the most admiration and respect for. These are the men who are considerate, don’t beat their chest, aren’t physically the strongest, don’t feel the need to challenge every other man in their vicinity. They make everyone they come into contact with feel good about themselves without sucking up, and aren’t emotionally closed off.
So to close this off guys, there are two statements I’d like to make:
1) You don’t have to be the Alpha Male in your group of friends to get laid. Human females simply aren’t wired that way. Alpha females tend to choose the Alpha males in a human population, a non-alpha male would seriously not enjoy a relationship with an Alpha Female, so he shouldn’t care about this fact.
2) Stop believing you need to mimic the pickup community stereo-type for Alpha Males, unless you are looking to pick up Female Gorillas.
By the way, all of my research is inspired by hours of google research, and I recently found a cool list of 55 interesting facts you may not know about them.
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