I imagine back in the 1950s the invention of pick up lines worked a treat, going up to a woman and saying “Are you lost ma’am? Because heaven is a long way from here!” would of probably made women’s hearts flutter, face blush and cause her to giggle in delight! However this day and age a majority of women frown upon pick up lines and routines.
The amount of times I’ve spoken women who I have met in the nightclubs who have said to me “you wont believe what the guy before you said to me” is all too many. They usually follow up with “it’s so refreshing to have a guy be real for a change.” Its something so simplistic in nature yet so rare to find, that women actually embrace it.
So why aren’t pickup lines effective?
The Genuine and Confident Man
Two key traits women look for in a man is Confidence as well as Genuineness, As men sometimes we feel we must impress women or raise our value in order to gain their interest. Thus we make the common mistake of using pick up lines/routines to spark that interest within her. By doing so we end up burning our own bridges with women who would otherwise be more than happy to talk to us.
I see men all the time using pickup lines and routines in night clubs and find that a majority of them at some point or another fail to gain the interest of the girl they are talking to and soon end up leaving with nothing.
This is because by using pickup lines they are already demonstrating to women that they do not hold the above two traits women seek out in men, which leads women to more often than not, respond negatively.
I’m sure back in the 1950s when pickup lines were unknown to women, they would have thought the men using them were being creative and sincere.
So What Do I Say?
A common question I get from guys who are fairly new to talking to women is “what do I say to her” My response is usually “how about saying Hi and asking her how shes going tonight?”. I usually get a puzzled look from them as if to say “is that it? is that all you have to give me?”
The plain and simple truth is that it doesn’t matter what you say, most women know why you’re walking up to them in the first place. They assume you are interested and if you are confident enough to be genuine in the way you approach her, she will more than likely give you the time of day.
There is no such thing as a killer line to say to women that will instantly make them fall for you or make them interested in you, but one thing I am most certainly sure of is that a majority if not all women like men who are confident and genuine.
Women come across men all the time who try to lie, cheat and trick them into sleeping with them, which is why they are so perceptive when it comes to communication, especially in such environments as night club, it is a defence mechanism they have developed from a young age. So when a man comes along who is not genuine and comes across as false in any way, she can see right through him and his intentions, she will try to throw him off guard and usually dismiss him faster than you can say Gee Willikers.
On the other hand when a man who is confident and genuine walks her way, she will not only embrace him and respect him more for being real with her but she will also give him her time. She will feel less inclined to be defensive around him and she will open up more.
Something so simple as being genuine can open up amazing opportunities to not only have high quality, fun and enjoyable conversations with women, but also create the opportunity to make a connection, spark attraction and even more…the sky’s the limit when being genuine and it is more powerful than any pick up line or routine out there.
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About Damien Diecke
I've been a dating coach for 8 years
I’m the founder of Australia’s largest dating coaching company School of Attraction, The Author of Amazon best seller Sincere Seduction, and I’ve featured frequently on all of Australia’s major TV and RADIO stations.