When you meet a girl and get her number, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of a future romance together.
You really liked her and she seemed to like you too so the possibility of romance and intimacy seems highly likely at that time.
Then you call or text her to set up a date and things don’t always turn out as well as you hoped they would as you find it difficult to get her to agree to meet up with you.
Before long, your hopes of romance are dashed and feelings of anger towards women and/or insecurities about yourself may emerge.
This is the point where many guys often give up on pickup and dating if it happens enough times.
Frustrated men walk off into the horizon shouting “women are evil!” or “I’m just not cool enough!” or “pickup doesn’t work!” or some combination of all three.
Interestingly, none of those statements are even close to being true:
– women are NOT evil
– most guys ARE cool enough to go on dates with women – learned attraction DOES work (when done properly)
They are just using an ineffective strategy for converting numbers into dates.
In particular, it is most likely that it is their date invites that are ineffective and causing the most problems in attempting to convert numbers to dates.
Let’s fix this now shall we?
THE THREE KEYS OF A GOOD DATE INVITE
To increase one’s chances of converting numbers into dates, the following three keys should be obeyed when asking women out on a date:
KEY #1: The date activity must be an appropriate investment level
KEY #2: The date meeting time and place must be relatively flexible
KEY #3: The date must be planned well in advance
When I look through the texts of students who are having problems converting numbers to dates, I often see the exact opposite of the above three keys.
I see inappropriate investment level dates such as going bush walking together for a first date (would you go into a remote and isolated area with someone you barely know? I wouldn’t).
￼ I see inflexible times and places and like “meet me at Saturday morning at 10am in Paddington” (most women value their sleep way too much to meet anyone at 10am, no matter who it is).
I see short notice invites like “let’s meet up tonight” (most women interpret this as “I’m horny. Come and meet me so I can try to sleep with you.”).
Bad, bad and bad.
So how does one fix this?
Easily, by using intelligent date invites that obey the above three keys such as:
“let’s have coffee later in the week sometime (or “next week sometime” depending on how late into the week it is when you contact her). does that sound good to you?”
Appropriate investment level, flexible and well in advance. Good, good and good.
Let’s take a quick look at why this works.
Appropriate investment level dates work because until she’s comfortable around you and trusts you enough, she doesn’t want to be stuck spending a lot of time with you in a potentially unpleasant situation. She has her reputation and safety to consider and most women won’t risk either for someone they hardly know. The solution is to make dates, especially the first date, very comfortable for her by making them an appropriate investment level. Coffee in a public place is a great example of a low investment first date.
Being flexible about the time and place to meet is important as she may actually want to meet you but if you pick a time and place that she won’t be able to come to she will have to say “no” regardless of her interest levels. Many guys here this “no” and treat it as a rejection and in doing so they often go into “retreat mode” and lose a good girl unnecessarily. The simple solution is to be very flexible about when and where to meet. Give her a range of options to choose from and be willing to adjust to suit her needs and the chances of her saying “yes” increase significantly.
Giving plenty of notice is important as most girls like to have time to prepare for a date and it shows that you are interested in her enough to wait at least few days for her which most girls appreciate. These three things may sound like common sense and in reality they are but surprisingly a lot of guys don’t do them. Don’t be like those guys who can’t get dates. Instead, do what works by following the above three keys and watch the dates start rolling in…
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About Damien Diecke
I've been a dating coach for 8 years
I’m the founder of Australia’s largest dating coaching company School of Attraction, The Author of Amazon best seller Sincere Seduction, and I’ve featured frequently on all of Australia’s major TV and RADIO stations.