You Crave Diversity
You can say a lot of things about the attraction Industry and its evolution over the years, but you can never accuse it of not being multi-cultural. I honestly can’t think of many countries in the world that haven’t been represented by at least one of my students in the past.
More than that, I notice the obvious trend of men wanting cultural diversity in their taste in women.
I get Indian guys wanting nothing to do with Indian girls. Asian guys only wanting White women. I get white guys wanting Asian women. I get Northern European guys wanting black women. I get South American Guys wanting Eastern European Women. Eastern European Guys Wanting Australian Women, and every other possible variation of the above.
From a genetic variance viewpoint this makes perfect biological sense, if you mate with a genetically distant woman, then your offspring will likely benefit from a greater diversity of immune response and have a better chance of survival.
Your Biggest Concern..
So the one concern that I hear from a lot of men is “What role does race play?”. A lot of guys can feel insecure dating well outside of their own racial type when they first start approaching these women.
Some guys think women are racist, some guys assume women just aren’t interested in their race, and I can clearly see why that belief exists, but today I’d like to cover the controversial topic of race in the Pickup Industry.
So let’s imagine that a man of X genetic background is after women of Y genetic background. The first thing he tends to see is that Y women are almost always seen with Y men, suggesting that there is a strong preference existing there already which will be hard to break through for an average looking X guy.
The Reason Women Tend to Stick To Their Own Race
1) First of all, men and women on average restrict all their dating activities to their social circle, and extended social group. This means friends and friends of those friends.
Now our friends are generally a result of commonalities that we share that help us to understand and nurture each other, very few people actually step outside of their comfort zones when it comes to making new friends.
It’s most likely that you will befriend other who are very culturally similar to you, and this usually means very racially similar. So Y women actually end up with very little choice in men who aren’t of the Y persuasion without dating outside their friend group which isn’t common for anyone to do, but particularly rare for any minority in a foreign country since it’s simply more scary.
2) Now let’s look at the typical human behavior to date the same type of person over and over again because that’s what we are comfortable with. We wish we could date tall leggy blondes, but we keep hitting on short women because that’s our comfort zone for example.
Me personally, I love my short women, but that’s a story for another day! I gurantee many of you readers know what I’m talking about.. You are at a party, and all else being equal you find yourself hitting on a girl that’s very similar to all of your ex’s, even if she’s not the girl you most want to be with. You are just falling into your comfort zone.
So it’s normal that women who belong to any minority group in any country are far more likely to date other men from that minority group regardless of their interest in men from outside of their group. So you see, you really can’t gain an understanding for a woman’s interest in your race just because it isn’t seen very frequently.
But You See A Problem With My Reasoning…
“AHA! But I have talked to lots of Y women before, but they don’t even give me the time of day, where as my Y male friends have no trouble at all, so I remain unconvinced” Is what I can already hear ringing in my ears.
You see there is a lot more that usually comes along with race than simply skin tone, where the body decides to store fat, hair follicular shape, eye colour, height, and a few other inconsequential appearance traits (We have recently found there is in fact far less genetic variance between races than we had ever thought possible).
First at the top of this list is CULTURE.
Culture is almost always the culprit of the difficulties some guys have in dating their race of choice. You see, every culture on the face of this planet is rich and detailed and fascinating, but they come with habits of behavior especially between the sexes that don’t always mix so well.
Here’s A Perfect Example
China is known as a more puritanical culture than Australia. There are more social formalities and courting rituals between men and women than exist in Australia, it also happens to be more religious than Australia.
In China, men are expected to be far less aggressive, and the women are expected to be far less sexually available. This is of course a generalization, but this example helps to demonstrate a point.
So, take a born and raised Australian guy with Australian parents, who likes Chinese girls. One thing he has to be careful of is not to be to overpowering. He might be used to much more crude jokes and overt sexual physical escalation in public.
This can easily scare away or even offend Chinese women depending on how open they are to the cultural shift. Fortunately, many Chinese girls are quite open to becoming less restrained sexually, so the shift isn’t too hard for Australian guys.
So reverse this around and take a Chinese guy who likes Australian Born and Raised girls and we have a different problem. In contrast, Australian women expect their men to be more confident, more dominant, and more sexually forward than this Chinese guy is used to. In this situation, the women aren’t willing explore the shift in cultural dating behaviours.
Simply put women around the world prefer overly aggressive males to very under aggressive males. So our Chinese friend may conclude that white women simply don’t like Asian guys, when it’s simply a cultural clash in dating behaviour.
The simple rule of thumb is that it’s much harder to shift your attention to women from a less puritanical culture than your own than it is to switch to women from a more puritanical culture, because women are almost always more willing to become more sexually liberated than less.
So Australian guys have an easier time with say, Korean women, but a much harder time with Brazilian women. (again this is all generalization, there are very confident sexually liberated Koreans, and very traditional, religious Brazilians.)
So What Does This Mean For You?
Well, while racism still exists in parts of the world, I’ve seen precious little of its existence in the dating realm in the last 9 years. What I do see plenty of is Cultural Clash. Even when I have heard women say “Oh I wouldn’t dat a guy from ‘x’ background.”
What they always invariably mean is that they struggle to be interested in men with ‘x’ cultural behaviour. This is great news because while your race may be unchangeable, the way you approach and attempt to attract women isn’t!
So guys if you are interested in women from less puritanical cultures than you, then you need to work hard on pushing your boundaries and working on being louder, increasing your eye contact, learning to be more comfortable with physical contact, and definitely pushing your edge with expressing your sexuality.
It will be hard at first for you because women lose interest very quickly in men who aren’t ‘strong’ enough for them. One thing you need to remember is that it all comes down to your approach. If that is strong and dominant, then you will get a friendly ear. If instead your opener is timid and shy, then you won’t get far past ‘hello’.
If you are Interested in women who are from more puritanical cultures, then you want to remember to soften up your approach slightly. Be wary of aggressive sexual escalation especially in public. Be wary of using sexual jokes, and lower your energy levels. Luck is on the side of your cultural preference however because women open up more easily to more dominant men than they are accustomed to.
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School of Attraction is a dating education company with one motto: "Leave No Single Man Behind". We provide free and paid courses for men to achieve success with women.
Started by Damien Diecke in 2008, SOA has gone on to become Australia's largest dating coaching company, now setting it's sights worldwide.
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