In 2003 I was recovering from crippling anxiety attacks that left me trapped in my room. My self confidence was at an all time low, and I was very lonely. I made a special promise to myself.
“I was going to learn to be attractive to women, and I was going to do it without manipulating them, or pretending to be something I wasn’t”
By 2009, I was one of the most confident men I knew, and had a reputation around the city for being ‘that guy who always had women after him’. I started School of Attraction and went on to help 1000s of men become more confident with women.
Guys always ask me who my ‘guru’ was, and they are shocked to learn that I was self-taught. Not from Pick Up Artists, but from properly researched scientific resources on human behaviour.
Below are 25 of the most influential books I ever read, that will teach you how to be incredibly successful with women without ever having to rely on tacky Pick Up Artist techniques.
WHAT WOMEN LOOK FOR IN A MAN
(Get A Grip On Your Masculinity)
What do women look for in a man?
The answer is deceptively simple. They want a man!
But what does it mean to be a ‘man’ in modern society? Are you supposed to be a chest beating alpha gorilla, or a SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy)?
It’s time to step up to the plate and learn to become the man you dream of being, and the man women are waiting for you to become.
#1 THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN
Why I loved this book: It taught me to embrace all aspects of myself as a man, both the part of me that can cry, and the part of me that can fight. I fell in love with myself as a man thanks to this book
Why You need this book: It’s the ultimate guide to what it means to be a man in modern society. It’s direct, unapologetic, and will will likely answer a lot of questions you have about your past failed relationships. It’s my number 1 most recommended book of all time.
#2Â NO MORE MR NICE GUY
Why I loved this book: I learned why women kept seeing me as just a friend, and why my ex’s always seemed to be taking advantage of my good nature. Most importantly I saw the distinction between a ‘nice guy’ and a real man.
Why You need this book: Learn why being too ‘nice’ to women is actually a passive aggressive way to try to control her behaviour. The answer isn’t to treat women badly, but to learn to place greater priority on your own needs. This will radically alter both your relationships and your friendships alike. It’s my 2nd most recommended book of all time
#3 THE POWER OF VULNERABILITY
Why I loved this Audio Series: I learned why being openly vulnerable was a powerful masculine trait, and not a weakness. I also learned to let go of all kinds of shame I felt around different aspects of my personality. My romantic relationship took a huge leap forwards as a result.
Why You need this Audio Series: Most men spend their lives trying to avoid expressing their vulnerability, when in reality it is our vulnerability that makes us most loveable and relatable to women. Learn how to embrace and share your vulnerabilities with the world, it will drastically improve the quality of your connection with others.
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SUCCESS
(How To Stop F@#ing Up)
We go through our lives with heads so full of self-sabotaging crap, that it can seem nearly impossible to take charge and get what we really want.
Success is about learning a simple set of strategies to let go of our limiting beliefs and embrace the failure that’s required to truly become successful at anything.
The good news is that all success follows exactly the same pattern. These books below will guide you step by step on a path to mastery in any area of your life (including women).
#4 MASTERY
Why I loved this book: I discovered why I kept attempting projects and failing. I had given up on relationships, business projects, and skill sets. I learned a mindset to approach mastering my success with women that led me becoming a renowned expert in the field of attraction.
Why You need this book: Once you see what the process of mastery truly looks like, you know what to expect in your journey ahead. You can plan to overcome obstacles before they come up, so you will never again tackle big dreams and give up prematurely.
#5Â HOW TO FAIL AT ALMOST EVERYTHING
Why I loved this book: I discovered that the reason I wasn’t succeeding was because I was trying so hard not to fail. I never knew true success until I learned to embrace failure as a critical part of becoming successful.
Why You need this book: Most humans go through life perpetually afraid of failure. But failure represents moments of great learning opportunity. If you aren’t willing to be rejected by women consistently, then you aren’t ready to be successful with women.
#6 THE INNER GAME OF TENNIS
Why I loved this book: This book really taught me how to navigate the swirling torrents of insecurity, and limiting beliefs I had in my head which were preventing me from being successful with women.
Why You need this book: If you are sick of your emotions, and past experiences getting in the way of pursuing success in any area of your life, then this book will provide a powerful guide to working around these emotional limitations every human has.
#7Â FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY
Why I loved this book: I learned that I’ll never be free of my fears, but instead I could learn to never be held back by my fears again. To be willing to ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ was a truly liberating experience.
Why You need this book: If you are held back by fear.. A fear of approaching a beautiful woman on the street, a fear of asking that girl at work for her number, or a fear of sexually escalating.. Then this is the book you need to take action where you never could before.
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(It’s NOT Rocket Science)
Every time a man says ‘women are complicated’, somewhere in the world a 40 year old virgin pops into existence.
Despite popular belief, women really aren’t that complicated, they’re just different from us men in some subtle ways.
Once you understand and fully appreciate those differences, women will cease to frustrate and confound you in the way they likely have so far.
#8 THE FEMALE BRAIN
Why I loved this book: For the first time in my life, I felt like I truly understood how different life can be growing up as a woman. What are the differences in both physiology and social pressure that shape women? This is my 3rd most recommended book of all time
Why You need this book: You’ll get a crystal clear insight into life inside a woman’s brain through every step of a woman’s life from infant to pensioner and everything in between. The best way to get close to women is to first seek to understand their world.
#9 MAN’S GUIDE TO WOMEN
Why I loved this book: I got a step-by-step process to understanding my partner’s wants and needs, which was delivered in clear language that made sense to my logical male brain.
Why You need this book: This is the most frequently recommended book by all relationship coaches I have interviewed, that alone speaks volumes. If you want to cease being frustrated by women because you can’t understand why they do or say what they do half the time, then this is a book you have to consume.
#10 THE RED QUEEN
Why I loved this book: I discovered the depth and complexity of both male and female sexuality. Using discussion points from this book in my conversations with women, has allowed me to talk candidly about sex (and engage in sex) with women on many occasions.
Why You need this book: Society tells us a lot about female sexuality.. Most of it is complete rubbish. These ‘stories’ about female sexuality give us a blinkered view of women, which prevents us form fully engaging women sexually.
MAKING WOMEN LAUGH
(WITH you, not AT you)
If you can’t make women laugh, then you aren’t successful with women. It’s that simple.
The way to a woman’s heart, life, facebook page, and pants is through humour.
Fortunately humour is a skill we can learn. It’s not actually that hard, it just requires a little practice.
#11 COMEDY WRITING SECRETS
Why I loved this book: The fist book on humour I ever read, this book blew my mind. It gave me a list of ‘techniques’ for creating humour from boring situations that I could practice in my own time. It’s my 4th most recommended book of all time.
Why You need this book: Without a sense of humour, you aren’t getting results with women. This is one of the most recommended books on comedy of all time. It didn’t get that success by accident. If you are in need of a sense of humour injection, this should be your first point of reference.
#12 THE COMIC TOOLBOX
Why I loved this book: After reading this book, I sat down for about 3 hours and used the step by step ideas to create really funny respones to the 20 questions women most frequently asked me. It had a massive impact on the number of women who wanted to give me their number.
Why You need this book: If you like step-by-step guides to everything, then this is the humour book you need. It’s like a perfectly laid out course in systematically developing a brilliant sense of humour.
HOW TO TALK TO WOMEN
(Who AREN’T In Your Family)
If I got 10c every time someone asked me “what do I say to make a woman like me?”, I’d be able to buy a happy meal every month!
Fortunately, there is a very clear ‘code’ to connecting with ANYONE and creating likability very rapidly.
The below books totally blew my mind and revolutionised the way I talked to women and men alike.
#13 HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE
Why I loved this book: This is the first book I ever read which showed a super clear way to become more likeable. I started putting these lessons into practice at work, and got recommended for a raise within a month. It’s gobsmacking how easy it can be to become likeable when you know how
Why You need this book: This book has become a classic over the years, becoming one of the most highly recommended books around the world for social skills. It didn’t earn that reputation by accident. If you don’t know how to quickly become one of the most popular people in any room, then this book is for you.
#14 INFLUENCE – THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PERSUASION
Why I loved this book: For starters, this is one of those rare books I couldn’t put down once I started. I radically changed the way I picked up girls after reading this book, it taught me all the subtle little things I should be doing to get better results every step along the way.
Why You need this book: Did you know that telling a woman WHY you want her number makes her 3x more likely to give it to you? Did you know that you can ensure a woman will reply to your first message by simply getting her to utter a few key words? Vital attraction facts like these and many, many more are to be found in this book, rigorously tested in an range of life situations.
#15 THE LIKE SWITCH
Why I loved this book: It’s written by an Ex FBI Spy recruiter… Enough said!!
Why You need this book: This book is the careful refinement of decades of FBI research into how to rapidly create trust and affinity with another human being. Be careful with this book, it’s techniques are super powerful and in the wrong hands could easily be used to manipulate women to do all kinds of things, so please use responsibly!
Reading Her Body Language
(Hint: NOT a hands on activity)
Would you believe me if I told you that I can watch you talking to a woman for 10 seconds and tell you exactly what she’s feeling about you in that moment?
It’s not because I have super powers (although sometimes I like to pretend I do), it’s because I’ve carefully studied and practiced reading people’s body language. As it turns out, everything we are thinking and feeling is written clearly on our bodies if we just know how to read it.
#16 WHAT EVERY BODY IS SAYING
Why I loved this book: Another book by an ex-FBI agent, which showed me exactly which parts of the body to watch for what kinds of information. Fantastically simple to understand and put into practice. This is my highest recommended body language book that I’ve ever read.
Why You need this book: If you only read one book on reading body language, this must be at the top of your list. As soon as you start reading the first few chapters, you’ll be craving the chance to sit and watch people just to start interpreting all the new information you can read on their bodies.
#17 BODY LANGUAGE
Why I loved this book: The very first body language book I ever picked up. It represented the first time in my life that I realised I could see what people were REALLY thinking behind the words they said. It was MIND BLOWING
Why You need this book: If you don’t like reading, or don’t have the time, this is a really easy book to burn though and get a huge amount of benefit from. It has also become a classic best seller on the topic of body language.
#18 HOW TO ANALYZE PEOPLE
Why I loved this book: This book did an amazing job of combining body language, with smart questioning skills, and psychology, to create a skill set that enables you to really dig deep into what makes people tick. For anyone who has wondered how I became so amazing at cold-reading people, I have this book to thank.
Why You need this book: Do you have a history of trusting the wrong people? Are you often confused about what a woman’s or man’s true intentions are? Do you sometimes wonder if someone is lying to you, and how you could find out the truth? This book will give you the ability get to the root of these experiences.
BECOME AMAZING IN BED
(Why She’ll Never Have A ‘Headache’ Again)
Do you know that most men really have no idea what a woman really wants in her man sexually? They spend the majority of their time focussing on the wrong parts of a sexual interaction, and wonder why the sparks fizzle so easily.
These books aren’t just about getting better at pleasing women, they’re about learning to expand your sexual horizons so you can discover why you’ve only just discovered 10% of what sex can be.
#19 THE GUIDE TO GETTING IT ON
Why I loved this book: This book seriously changed my sex life in weird and wonderful ways. It was almost as fun to read as it is to have sex. Women started not just telling me how much they enjoyed their time with me, but they told their friends as well!
Why You need this book: What can I say? This is the ultimate guide to being better in bed. It’s clear, concise and just makes sense. If you want to really blow her mind, then get stuck into this book, you can thank me later!
#20 SHE COMES FIRST
Why I loved this book: I’ll tell you a very personal secret – I used to struggle with premature ejaculation. But my casual sex partners kept calling me over time and again, why? Because I read this book and became incredible at oral sex!
Why You need this book: If you want learn to give a woman orgasms like almost no other man can give her, then this is a book you need. A entire book dedicated to oral sex – It’s the book every woman wishes you’d read.
#21 THE LITTLE BOOK OF KINK
Why I loved this book: This book inspired me to explore the kinkier side to sex. It gave me the confidence and language to bring it up with my partners, and allowed us to introduce a little ’50 shades of grey’ in our lives.
Why You need this book: Most men I know want to explore the kinkier side of life, but have no idea how or where to get started. The author will make you feel at ease around the topic of ‘kink’ and help you get exploring things may never have realised you might enjoy.
MAINTAINING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
(While Holding Onto Your Nuts)
If you’ve ever had a bad relationship before (lord knows I’ve had a few), then you know just how soul crushing they can be.
Learning to maintain a healthy happy relationship isn’t just a dating skill, it’s a life skill. Odds are, one day you’re going to settle into a long term relationship and if you don’t know how to keep it healthy, then it could fall apart and cause no end of heart break.
These books are books that every man and woman on the planet should read if they want to be happy with their life partners.
#22 MEN ARE FROM MARS – WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
Why I loved this book: This was the very first self-help book I ever picked up because I was in my first relationship gone bad. It provided me with a much needed communication skill that I used with my partner. I still utilise lessons from this book almost 20 years later.
Why You need this book: Odds are that you’ve probably heard of this book before. It’s another classic in the field of relationship communication skills. It teaches men and women to embrace each others differences, and explains clearly some of the needs women have that are really hard for us guys to understand. I highly recommend it.
#23 THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES
Why I loved this book: I found this book deceptively simple, and deceptively powerful. It explained so many frustrating problems I had in previous relationships. I’ve now learned to give love to my partner in the way they need to receive it to feel loved.
Why You need this book: Did you know that different people need to receive love in different ways in order to feel loved and appreciated? I see a lot of relationships fail because partners aren’t getting loved in the way they need. It’s a simple read, with a powerful outcome for your current and future relationships.
#24 TOO GOOD TO LEAVE, TOO BAD TO STAY
Why I loved this book: I picked up this book when I was in a relationship that I couldn’t work out whether I should say or go. This book was critical in helping me to come the the realisation that this was simply the wrong relationship for me and I needed to get out. Getting out of that relationship was my inspiration for starting a little company called School of Attraction!
Why You need this book: If you are currently in a relationship you aren’t sure about, or don’t want to get involved in a long term relationship with the wrong woman, this book will prove an invaluable resource to helping you to make the right romantic decisions.
Did You Know I’ve Compiled All The Above Information Into One Easy AudioBook/PDF Package?
Rather than read all the above books, you may want to save yourself all of that time and grab a copy of Sincere Seduction, which is a fully compiled guide to getting better with women based on all the above content, rather than all the sleazy PUA stuff you see everywhere else.
It’s a really easy step-by step guide that’s easy to listen to or read.
You can get both an Audio copy AND a pdf version for just $9.99
Grab your copy now!
This is so well put together and a fantastic resource! Thanks for sharing this. May I also add two other great books by Dr Stan Tatkin – Wired For Love and Wired For Dating!
One word for you: hypocrite.
Sorry you feel that way Jackie – I don’t follow the PUA mindset with my coaching at all. So my conscience feels clear 🙂
Acting like a sleaze attracts low quality women who are desperate, ignorant, suffer from a low self esteem, are constantly seeking your approval with hopes that maybe one day you ll accept them and treat them with kindness.
Acting like a sleaze attracts low quality women who are desperate, ignorant, suffer from a low self esteem, are constantly seeking your approval with hopes that maybe one day you ll accept them and treat them with kindness.
In other words, if you get nervous before approaching a girl that you’re attracted to, you’ll find that this program gives you the right tools and advice, with a mind to making you far more confident.